It’s a cold December morning. 5 A.M. was the wakeup time. 6:30 if you’re under the age of 10 is…
It’s a cold December morning. 5 A.M. was the wakeup time. 6:30 if you’re under the age of 10 is…
It’s a cold December morning. 5 A.M. was the wakeup time. 6:30 if you’re under the age of 10 is apparently an acceptable Christmas break wake up. My children don’t sleep in. But, I’ve been up since 5 myself so….
Day 2 of our winter break was way less exciting for the kiddos than Day 1.
Flu shots & Lab work & video games all day sums up Day 2. It was a pretty decent day on my end though.
I took Maddie & Owen in for their 2nd dose of shot. Maddie held my hands tightly. Owen was totally brave up until it was his turn. I had to pick him up and set him on the chair and then kind of hold him in place while he cried. Poor kid.
Following that load of fun, we headed to the Air Force Academy’s hospital for lab work for me to check the pregnancy levels. Hooray, huh?! Doesn’t Day 2 just sound like LOADS of fun? If you follow me on snapchat, you saw last week’s bloodwork rant & how that went. (Cocky little young person… I broke his streak of November since he wasn’t able to draw my blood…. he redeemed himself last week, but my vein was destined to swell & bruise after being poked too many times in a short period). Well, yesterday guess who calls me back?! Yup. Cocky little guy again. He made jokes about who did that to my arm and thankfully managed to stab me only one time. HOORAY! (I have tiny and deep veins… tiny and deep. Getting poked only once it like a dream come true. Normally it’s at least twice. AT LEAST). So, he managed to get it on the first prick from my left (the non-bruised, but heavily tattooed) arm. We high-fived afterward because we both know how hard that is to accomplish with my veins.
Anyway, so a few hours later a nurse called me to tell me my levels…. TWO! My pregnancy levels were back down to practically nothing. I’m no longer pregnant which is a really weird thing to be excited to hear, but it means I’m healing and that’s a really good thing. I have a followup next week for the surgery and I should be good to go. I can’t even explain how much that phone call has put me in a happier mood. I was starting to feel better, finally but hearing that just was the icing on the cake. It’s almost done. I can move on. I don’t have to go in for lab work anymore, I don’t have to get pricked and poked a million times. I can finally heal. It’s bittersweet, really.
In other news, (again you’ve already seen this if you follow me on snapchat), I got my chalk markers yesterday! WHOOOOOO-HOOOO! I can’t even tell you how excited I was for these things to come in. I’d ordered this chalkboard wallpaper MONTHS ago and finally had the oomph to hang it on a weird cabinet wall in my kitchen. It worked out perfectly & now I’m dying to hang more, but all of our walls have those weird bumpy texture to them, so that’s probably the only place it’ll really get hung up, which is fine but I’m all hyped about it so it’s kind of lame at the same time. Anyway… chalk markers were delivered and I immediately ripped em open.
Doesn’t it just look FUN?! Yes. Yes, it does! And it is! And I’m still so excited about them.
I also came home to a sweet package from a super sweet friend.
I’ve never tried a LUSH product. (Don’t throw rocks at me!) so I about died of excitement when I opened this. It smells HEAVENLY!
Also, major props to LUSH for their packaging. The note was right on top, which means I didn’t have to dig. The wrapping was adorable and it’s recycled paper. That just makes me love them so much.
And that’s Day 2 in a nutshell, folks.
ER trip. Miscarriage. Methotrexate shots. Surgery.
Here’s the first part of my miscarriage story in case you missed it and need to catch up.
After being told that my body was handling it on it’s own, I went in for labwork the following Friday (December 2nd)… afterwards I headed to pick up Owen early from preschool because I was worn out and my heart hurt. Right before I pulled into the parking lot, my phone rang… it was the nurse with my lab results. My levels had gone from 700 up to 900. “This is definitely not what I expected to see” she said to me. She then told me that I needed to come back in ASAP. My body wasn’t handling the miscarriage on it’s own like I was originally informed. I cried when I got off the phone with her. I cried a lot. I grabbed Owen. His teacher tried to ask me if everything was OK, but after taking a look at my face just sent us on our way.
David met us up there, he took Owen while I talked with the nurse. Since my levels were rising still, something needed to be done. I could either go upstairs for surgery or I could get a shot to stop the growth.
I opted for the shot. Methotrexate is a low dose form of chemotherapy. Isn’t that scary?! A few hours later, it was prepared for me and I received one in each butt cheek. The next few days were a total blur. David had to pick the kids up from school, then come back to the hospital (30 minutes away) to pick me up. It was snowy and messy and just a crappy day.
Following the shot, I had to go in for labs again on Monday and then Thursday. On Monday they’d risen to 1300 which is normal, it should rise and then drop. On Thursday, I went in for labs and a Dr Appt (late because of a snow day and the Air Force Academy’s hospital was closed for a training holiday so just add that to this whole mess). I finally made it down to Ft Carson’s OBGYN clinic to be told that things were looking good… my levels had dropped more than the 15% they hoped for… they’d dropped by like 30%. I was pleased with that. It meant that I didn’t need a second dose of Methotrexate and it meant that this was finally ending.
I can’t even tell you the amount of times that I’ve cried or just zoned out or felt the crush of losing this baby. Having to get shots in my butt to stop the growth after being told that my body was handling it just about did me in. Just the idea of agreeing to shots to stop the growth killed me inside.
Fast forward….. the bleeding has finally stopped, the pain is subsiding, the pregnancy symptoms are settling down… all is looking up.
Then Saturday and Sunday (the 10-11) I started to feel a little… off. I thought maybe I’d just overdone it and I thought I had some gas pains (the shots give you weird symptoms). I took it easy, and thought it’d be fine.
On Monday the 12th, I woke up to take Owen to school. I showered, put some makeup on, did my hair and was feeling pretty good…. right up until we got in the car. I started getting this intense pain. I was sweating, I had goosebumps. I thought, “okay… finally just need to use the bathroom”. I parked the car and turned to get out and gasped from the pain. I got Owen inside & called David crying. Once I got home, I emailed the nurse line (and then went to pick up poor Fin from school because he wasn’t feeling well). David came home early and grabbed Owen for me. I took some Percocet that I’d been given in the ER when this all started (back on Owen’s 5th birthday, November 28th) The nurse called me and told me to come in just to be safe.
We already had Fin with us because he wasn’t feeling well and school sent him home. So David swung by and grabbed Maddie from school too on our way up to the hospital.
I had to stop by for labs, then wait and wait and wait some more. I was a walk-in appointment. We got there around 1pm and I was finally seen around 3:30/4. David picked up the kids, everything was fine. It wasn’t a big deal to hang out and wait. I knew with a walk-in appointment that I’d be waiting. I didn’t know I’d be sitting across from an overly loud couple & one of their mothers listening to them hoping it wasn’t twins…. hoping for someone to take the other baby for a couple of years if it was.
There should seriousy be a seperate room for women going through this instead of having to sit there surrounded by happily pregnant people making comments that they don’t even know are horrible.
My DR of the day did an internal ultrasound to try to figure out where the pain was coming from. I thought I was just seriously constipated from the medication. He said that the ultrasound looked a bit confusing and sent me to radiology for an outer & inner ultrasound.
My ultrasound tech had a DR pop his head in and based on what they were saying, I was bleeding internally.
She wheeled me back to my Doctor where David & the kids were also waiting for me. That’s when I was informed that my tube had ruptured and they were going to admit me for surgery. By this time it was 5:30pm, I was sore and tired and so were David & the kids.
David took the kids home and got them settled and ready for bed. I was wheeled upstairs, quickly hooked up to things and quickly checked in. Surgery started at about 7pm and I was back in my room at midnight. I had no idea what had even happened. The Dr said he wouldn’t know what was up until he actually got inside. Everything was so up in the air. I was so scared. I had no idea what would happen, how long I’d be in the hospital… everything just depended on what I looked like inside. This was absolutely terrifying and I was completely alone. Seriously, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. This whole experience has been devastating.
The next morning, he told me that he took part of my left fallopian tube out and that my right side was also messed up.
If I were to get pregnant again, it’d be an ectopic. No more babies for me. I was able to go home that afternoon.
It’s now Wednesday and I’m sitting on my couch updating this. My body hurts. My stomach hurts, my throat hurts from the tube, my hand hurts from the IV, my arm hurts from all the labwork (which I still have to continue once a week until my levels hit zero). And I get to follow up with my DR in 1-2 weeks to discuss birth control. On a bright note, he said if I were to start taking birth control now, it’d help later on dwn the road when it came time for me to go through Menapause. Awesome, huh?! I can’t have more babies, my tube ruptures, and we’re discussing menapause.
My body hurts, my heart hurts. On one hand, I’m glad to know about the other tube so that we don’t go through this again, but at the same time it was such a crushing thing to hear. I wish I’d have just opted for the surgery from the get go and skipped the shots. And I’d been bleeding for who knows how long. It was slow and steady, but thankfully it became painful enough that I went in. I’m thankful it was caught in time before it got worse, but how insane. How scary.
This is so all over the place, I’m sorry for that… I’m just trying to keep things sort of straight and update while I can.
November 28th… Owen’s 5th birthday was when I ended up in the Emergency room. November 30th is when I heard that my body was handling it on it’s own. At this point nobody knew if it was ectopic or a miscarriage. December 2nd is when my levels went up and I received the shots. December 12th I was rupturing and admitted to surgery.
This really is just never-ending. It’s like a day to day nightmare. As soon as I start to feel OK, something else happens. At least now it’s removed and I should heal up. But how devastating. How heartbreaking. How painful. And then I hear that I can’t even try again if I wanted to.
No baby #4 for us. Ever. I just wish I could’ve found that out without going through all of this…. without losing a pregnancy, without bleeding internally, without getting excited to have a baby.
I’ll be alright. We’ll be alright. Time heals is what I hear. I’m not even sure if I’ve processed the information about my right tube yet. The surgery happened so quickly, the past few days have been such a blur, who am I kidding… the past few weeks have been such a blur.
Thank you all for your continued support, prayers, thoughts, and love.
You have no idea how much your words have meant to us and have helped us through this heartbreaking time.
Much love to you all.
I participated in a Influencer Activation on behalf of Influence Central for First Response. I received product samples as well as a promotional item to thank me for my participation.
There is nothing more exciting and absolutely terrifying than peeing on a stick and seeing that plus sign (or double line or “pregnant”) pop up! Absolutely nothing can prepare you for all of the emotions that hit you all at once.
If you have been a follower for a while now, you know that I discussed baby number four a while back, my fears, hopes, excitement and random thoughts as well as why baby four is off the table. You can read that post over here if you would like to do so.
But if you have ever taken a pregnancy test, you know that nothing is more awkward than trying to figure out how to pee on this tiny stick, or pee in the cup to dip the stick in… and, it is all pretty gross if you think about it.
It makes me thankful for the new First Response early result pregnancy tests. (Well, thankful for the ladies that have to pee on those sticks still and a bit jealous that these were not around when I was peeing on all the sticks). The new tests come with a cutting-edge curved shape design to fit your hand! How wonderful is that?! Less pee on your hand! That is a total win! If you have yet to ever pee on a sick, you just do not even know the woes and awkwardness and now thanks to First Response, you won’t have to!
These newly designed tests come with a 50% wider tip & a longer handle as well! I’m almost jealous that I’m done having babies & am missing out on the new versions of these comfort sure design features.
Did you know that First Response early result pregnancy tests are FDA approved and designed to detect all relevant forms of urinary hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) throughout your pregnancy making it easy to tell you 6 days sooner than your missed period and it’s over 99% accurate and ready for you to read in 3 minutes and the test can be used ANY time of the day! I always hated waiting until my first of the day pee! It’s so hard to be that patient sometimes! You can pick them up at all major drugstores and grocery stores! They’re retailed at $8.99 – $15.99.
7 Ways to Fight Postpartum Depression
Pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions. Most women expect these ups and downs to disappear once the baby is born and the excitement of meeting your newborn sets in. Unfortunately, up to 80 percent of women experience some form of the baby blues in the days, weeks and months following child-birth. Here are a few ways to ease the emotional upheaval that accompanies postpartum depression.
Make Sure You Get Enough Rest
Put the Right Food Into Your Body
Consider Taking Anti-Depressant Medication
Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help
Reach Out to Family and Friends
Connect with Your Spouse or Partner
Take a Walk and Get Some Sun
Getting the baby blues is common after having a child. If you’re feeling down and out, you’re not alone. Following a few tips to take care of yourself can ease your anxiety and depression, but be mindful of when it’s time to seek professional help.
So, it’s FINALLY FRIDAY!
(I’ve been singing that damned Rebecca Black song all week)
Sunday my handsome man woke up screaming and running a fever and broken out in this mess:
In other news,
Handsome went back to preschool Tuesday and they had a mini party
Little baby lady was super excited to get to follow her big bro around and see what he does during the day.
Then Wednesday, I had my final Dr appt for little Baby O.
I go in Sunday for some paperwork and lab work.
Baby O will most definitely be here Monday morning.
Sometime between now and then, my husband will be home for r&r.
Exciting things are happening, people!! EXCITING!
So if you don’t hear from me for a while, that’s why.
But, follow me on twitter ambernmccain,
I’m sure there will be a sneak peak of baby O on there.
Or even on Instagram.
I hope you all had a very blessed Thanksgiving.
I took the kids to Super Saturday.
All day daycare, totally free if your spouse is deployed.
They have fun.
I have a me day.
So, I treated myself to lunch where the hostess looked at me like I was crazy when I replied, “Just me” after she asked how many.
|this burger was HUGE! like hold with both hands for each bite kind of huge!|
I also discovered this jewelry story that sells plugs. Not like just a few plugs either, like all kinds, all sizes, etc etc. I was in heaven! I’m excited to show it to hubby over r&r! So, I picked up him some plugs and got myself a new septum ring (which I’ve yet to put in because I can’t get the old one out. Ha)
Then I came home and cleaned a bit.
And attempted to take some belly shots for you all.
I had a sweater on over this outfit-it was actually really cute but I really fail at remembering to take photos of my outfits.
Oh and the messy hair–it’s negative 30’s outside. I had a headwrap/ear cover thing on all day.
|The brave little toaster is what we’re watching.|
I hope you all had a good day too.
Oh. enter GOBBLEGOBBLE at checkout in the shop and save 35%.
Good til end of the month.